Using nuclear quadrupole resonance, the phase diagram of 1111 $R$FeAsO$_{1-x}$F$_x$ ($R$$=$La, Ce, Sm) iron pnictides is constructed as a function of the local charge distribution in the paramagnetic state, which features low-doping-like (LD-like) and high-doping-like (HD-like) regions. Compounds based on magnetic rare earths (Ce, Sm) display a unified behavior, and comparison with La-based compounds reveals the detrimental role of static iron $3d$ magnetism on superconductivity, as well as a qualitatively different evolution of the latter at high doping. It is found that the LD-like regions fully account for the orthorhombicity of the system, and are thus the origin of any static iron magnetism. Orthorhombicity and static magnetism are not hindered by superconductivity but limited by dilution effects, in agreement with 2D (respectively 3D) nearest-neighbor square lattice site percolation when the rare earth is nonmagnetic (respectively magnetic). The LD-like regions are not intrinsically supportive of superconductivity, on the contrary of the HD-like regions, as evidenced by the well-defined Uemura relation between the superconducting transition temperature and the superfluid density when accounting for the proximity effect. This leads us to propose a complete description of the interplay of ground states in 1111 pnictides, where nanoscopic regions compete to establish the ground state through suppression of superconductivity by static magnetism, and extension of superconductivity by proximity effect.