Two-dimensional (2D) materials have become a fertile playground for the exploration and manipulation of novel collective electronic states. Recent experiments have unveiled a variety of robust 2D orders in highly-crystalline materials ranging from magnetism to ferroelectricity and from superconductivity to charge density wave (CDW) instability. The latter, in particular, appears in diverse patterns even within the same family of materials with isoelectronic species. Furthermore, how they evolve with dimensionality has so far remained elusive. Here we propose a general framework that provides a unfied picture of CDW ordering in the 2H polytype of four isoelectronic transition metal dichalcogenides 2H-MX$_2$ (M=Nb, Ta and X=S, Se). We first show experimentally that whilst NbSe$_2$ exhibits a strongly enhanced CDW order in the 2D limit, the opposite trend exists for TaSe$_2$ and TaS$_2$, with CDW being entirely absent in NbS$_2$ from its bulk to the monolayer. Such distinct behaviours are then demonstrated to be the result of a subtle, yet profound, competition between three factors: ionic charge transfer, electron-phonon coupling, and the spreading extension of the electronic wave functions. Despite its simplicity, our approach can, in essence, be applied to other quasi-2D materials to account for their CDW response at different thicknesses, thereby shedding new light on this intriguing quantum phenomenon and its underlying mechanisms.