We study the pump-probe response of three insulating cuprates and develop a model for its recombination kinetics. The dependence on time, fluence, and both pump and probe photon energies imply many-body recombination on femtosecond timescales, characterized by anomalously large trapping and Auger coefficients. The fluence dependence follows a universal form that includes a characteristic volume scale, which we associate with the holon-doublon excitation efficiency. This volume varies strongly with pump photon energy and peaks near twice the charge-transfer energy, suggesting that the variation is caused by carrier multiplication through impact ionization.