The complex interplay of processes at the Galactic Center is at the heart of numerous past, present, and (likely) future mysteries. We aim at a more complete understanding of how spectra extending to >10 TeV result. We first construct a simplified model to account for the peculiar energy and angular dependence of the intense central parsec photon field. This allows for calculating anisotropic inverse Compton scattering and mapping gamma-ray extinction due to gamma gamma -> e^+ e^- attenuation. Coupling these with a method for evolving electron spectra, we examine several clear and present excesses, including the diffuse hard X-rays seen by NuSTAR and GeV gamma rays by Fermi. We address further applications to cosmic rays, dark matter, neutrinos, and gamma rays from the Center and beyond.