High temperature superconductivity in iron pnictides and chalcogenides emerges when a magnetic phase is suppressed. The multi-orbital character and the strength of correlations underlie this complex phenomenology, involving magnetic softness and anisotropies, with Hunds coupling playing an important role. We review here the different theoretical approaches used to describe the magnetic interactions in these systems. We show that taking into account the orbital degree of freedom allows us to unify in a single phase diagram the main mechanisms proposed to explain the (pi,0) order in iron pnictides: the nesting-driven, the exchange between localized spins, and the Hund induced magnetic state with orbital differentiation. Comparison of theoretical estimates and experimental results helps locate the Fe superconductors in the phase diagram. In addition, orbital physics is crucial to address the magnetic softness, the doping dependent properties, and the anisotropies.