We report an investigation of charge, spin and lattice effects in the spin-Peierls state of the organic compound MEM(TCNQ)$_2$. The 16.5 GHz dielectric function along the chain axis shows an enhancement below the spin-Peierls transition temperature near 18 K consistent with the charge coupling to the elastic strain involved in the transition. The velocity of two elastic modes perpendicular to the chain axis presents anomalies at the transition which can be explained with a Landau free energy model including a linear-quadratic coupling energy term between the appropriate elastic strain $e$ and the spin-Peierls magnetic gap $Delta_q$. The analysis of the dielectric and elastic features aims toward an order parameter with an associated critical exponent $beta sim$ 0.36, which is similar to the three-dimensional behavior seen in other spin-Peierls materials. All these effects studied in a magnetic field up to 18 Teslas appear also compatible with a mean-field model of a quasi-one-dimensional spin-Peierls system.