We present completely general next-to-leading order predictions for squark and gluino production at the LHC, based on the fully automated MadGolem tool. Without any assumptions on the mass spectrum we predict production rates and examine the structure of the massless and massive quantum corrections. This allows us to quantify theory uncertainties induced by the spectrum assumptions commonly made. Going beyond total rates we compare general fixed-order distributions to resummed predictions from jet merging. As part of this comprehensive study we present the MadGolem treatment of ultraviolet, infrared and on-shell divergences.