We study the scattering problem in the static patch of de Sitter space, i.e. the problem of field evolution between the past and future horizons of a de Sitter observer. We calculate the leading-order scattering for a conformally massless scalar with cubic interaction, as both the simplest case and a warmup towards Yang-Mills and gravity. Our strategy is to decompose the static-patch evolution problem into a pair of more symmetric evolution problems in two Poincare patches, sewn together by a spatial inversion. To carry this out explicitly, we end up developing formulas for the momentum-space effect of