We investigate the occurrence of topologically protected waves in classical fluids confined on curved surfaces. Using a combination of topological band theory and real space analysis, we demonstrate the existence of a system-independent mechanism behind topological protection in two-dimensional passive and active fluids. This allows us to formulate an index theorem linking the number of modes, determined by the topology of Fourier space, to the real space topology of the surface on which they are hosted. With this framework in hand, we review two examples of topological waves in two-dimensional fluids, namely oceanic shallow-water waves propagating on the Earths rotating surface and momentum waves in active polar fluids spontaneously flocking on substrates endowed with a ${rm U}(1)$ isometry (e.g. surfaces of revolution). Our work suggests some simple rules to engineer topological modes on surfaces in passive and active soft matter systems.