Pairs of Standard Model fermions form dimension-3 singlet operators that can couple to new dark sector states. This fermion portal is to be contrasted with the lower-dimensional Higgs, vector and neutrino singlet portals. We characterise its distinct phenomenology and place effective field theory bounds on this framework, focusing on the case of fermion portals to a pair of light dark sector fermions. We obtain current and projected limits on the dimension-6 effective operator scale from a variety of meson decay experiments, missing energy and long-lived particle searches at colliders, as well as astrophysical and cosmological bounds. The DarkEFT public code is made available for recasting these limits, which we illustrate with various examples including an integrated-out heavy dark photon.