Using a realistic multi-band model for two holes doped into a CuO$_2$ layer, we devise a method to turn off the magnon-mediated interaction between the holes. This allows us to verify that this interaction is attractive, and therefore could indeed be (part of) the superconducting glue. We derive its analytical expression and show that it consists of a novel kind of pair-hopping+spin-exchange terms. Its coupling constant is fitted from the ground state energy obtained with variational exact diagonalization, and it faithfully reproduces the effect of the magnon-mediated attraction in the entire Brillouin zone. For realistic parameter values, this effective interaction is borderline strong enough to bind the holes into preformed pairs.
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