We provide a systematic way to design computable bilinear forms which, on the class of subspaces $W^* subseteq V$ that can be obtained by duality from a given finite dimensional subspace $W$ of an Hilbert space $V$, are spectrally equivalent to the scalar product of $V$. Such a bilinear form can be used to build a stabilized discretization algorithm for the solution of an abstract saddle point problem allowing to decouple, in the choice of the discretization spaces, the requirements related to the approximation from the inf-sup compatibility condition, which, as we show, can not be completely avoided.