Finite size effects in a neutron star merger are manifested, at leading order, through the tidal deformabilities (Lambdas) of the stars. If strong first-order phase transitions do not exist within neutron stars, both neutron stars are described by the same equation of state, and their Lambdas are highly correlated through their masses even if the equation of state is unknown. If, however, a strong phase transition exists between the central densities of the two stars, so that the more massive star has a phase transition and the least massive star does not, this correlation will be weakened. In all cases, a minimum Lambda for each neutron star mass is imposed by causality, and a less conservative limit is imposed by the unitary gas constraint, both of which we compute. In order to make the best use of gravitational wave data from mergers, it is important to include the correlations relating the Lambdas and the masses as well as lower limits to the Lambdas as a function of mass. Focusing on the case without strong phase transitions, and for mergers where the chirp mass M_chirp<1.4M_sun, which is the case for all observed double neutron star systems where a total mass has been accurately measured, we show that the dimensionless Lambdas satisfy Lambda_1/Lambda_2= q^6, where q=M_2/M_1 is the binary mass ratio; $M$ is mass of each star, respectively. Moreover, they are bounded by q^{n_-}>Lambda_1/Lambda_2> q^{n_{0+}+qn_{1+}}, where n_-<n_{0+}+qn_{1+}; the parameters depend only on M_chirp, which is accurately determined from the gravitational-wave signal. We also provide analytic expressions for the wider bounds that exist in the case of a strong phase transition. We argue that bounded ranges for Lambda_1/Lambda_2, tuned to M_chirp, together with lower bounds to Lambda(M), will be more useful in gravitational waveform modeling than other suggested approaches.
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