We demonstrate that the observation of neutron stars with masses greater than one solar mass places severe demands on any exotic neutron decay mode that could explain the discrepancy between beam and bottle measurements of the neutron lifetime. If the neutron can decay to a stable, feebly-interacting dark fermion, the maximum possible mass of a neutron star is 0.7 solar masses, while all well-measured neutron star masses exceed one solar mass. The survival of $2 M_odot$ neutron stars therefore indicates that any explanation beyond the Standard Model for the neutron lifetime puzzle requires dark matter to be part of a multi-particle dark sector with highly constrained interactions.
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