We present a scheme for tuning and controlling nano mechanical resonators by subjecting them to electrostatic gradient fields, provided by nearby tip electrodes. We show that this approach enables access to a novel regime of optomechanics, where the intrinsic nonlinearity of the nanoresonator can be explored. In this regime, one or several laser driven cavity modes coupled to the nanoresonator and suitably adjusted gradient fields allow to control the motional state of the nanoresonator at the single phonon level. Some applications of this platform have been presented previously [New J. Phys. 14, 023042 (2012), Phys. Rev. Lett. 110, 120503 (2013)]. Here, we provide a detailed description of the corresponding setup and its optomechanical coupling mechanisms, together with an in-depth analysis of possible sources of damping or decoherence and a discussion of the readout of the nanoresonator state.