We present a large-N variational approach to describe the magnetism of insulating doped semiconductors based on a disorder-generalization of the resonating-valence-bond theory for quantum antiferromagnets. This method captures all the qualitative and even quantitative predictions of the strong-disorder renormalization group approach over the entire experimentally relevant temperature range. Finally, by mapping the problem on a hard-sphere fluid, we could provide an essentially exact analytic solution without any adjustable parameters.