The Standard Model of particle physics, augmented with neutrino mixing, is at least very nearly the complete theory of interactions of known particles at energies accessible to Nature on Earth. Candidate effective theories of nuclear structure must therefore reflect SM symmetries, especially the chiral global $SU(2)_L times SU(2)_R$ symmetry of two-massless-quark QCD. For ground-state nuclei, SU(2) chiral perturbation theory (XPT) enables perturbation in inverse powers of $Lambda_{XSB}simeq 1 GeV$, with analytic operators renormalized to all loop orders. We show that pion-less Static Chiral Nucleon Liquids (SXNL) emerge as a liquid phase of SU(2) XPT of protons, neutrons and 3 Nambu-Goldstone boson pions. Far-IR pions decouple from SXNL, simplifying the derivation of saturated nuclear matter and microscopic liquid drops (ground-state nuclides). We trace to the global symmetries of two-massless-quark QCD the power of pion-less SU(2) XPT to capture experimental ground-state properties of certain nuclides with even parity, spin zero, even proton number Z, and neutron number N. We derive the SXNL effective SU(2) XPT Lagrangian, including all order $Lambda_{XSB},Lambda^0_{XSB}$ operators. These include: all 4-nucleon operators that survive Fierz rearrangement in the non-relativistic limit, and effective Lorentz-vector iso-vector neutral $rho$-exchange operators. SXNL motivate nuclear matter as non-topological solitons at zero pressure: the Nuclear Liquid Drop Model and Bethe-Weizsacker Semi-Empirical Mass Formula emerge in an explicit Thomas-Fermi construction provided in the companion paper. For chosen nuclides, nuclear Density Functional and Skyrme models are justified to order $Lambda_{chi SB}^0$. We conjecture that inclusion of higher order operators will result in accurate natural Skyrme, No-Core-Shell, and neutron star models.